Okay lets be honest, I think I like sticks because I seem to beat myself with one a lot. If its there I will pick it up and there you go hours of endless fun. It has always seemed easier to pick the stick before somebody else - poor me. Of course it is not poor me, it's time to put the stick down.
I have been slow in the submission of the 2nd assignment, I have been concerned about the written and the research element in the course. Education strikes the fear of god into me, a childhood throw back it is one big stick and I ain't thick :) so time to stop beating myself with it. So why is it taking a long time to submit the 2nd assignment? Of course the written and research anxiety is not helping I know that - I know that the more I do the easier it will become, remember short and sweet Time? what have I been doing all this time? Full time work, family life, normal day to day life. On top of assignment 2 I have also been working on assignment 3 which the visual element is 99% (not posted up) complete and assignment 5 a visual possibility is developing. So that isn't a stick, it is an achievement. Assignment 5 visual possibility.
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Is a question that I have been seeking an answer to. I realize that it is a pointless question because if the answer was A then the answer would always be A. Of course has individuals we continually change and develop until the day we die and therefore the answer will never be "the answer". It is like chasing a shadow, a dog chasing its own tail getting nowhere focused on a single point and forgetting everything else that surrounds us. Maybe it should be a question of where? where was I, where I am, where I am going and that me has always been me, ever changing. I saw a flash of my past, a part of teenage identity, sexuality, angst, fun, flirtation, passive interaction with the opposite sex. A few weeks back my 15 year old son brought home a girl friend NOT a girlfriend they hung out listened to music. Me and my wife was having a few drinks when my son and his friend came into the room laughing, she had given him a full make over which was really funny. I saw the opportunity for a portrait, "wait there Jack can I get a photo, can I get a photo" of course Jack agreed he has lived with me and the camera for so long he doesn't batter an eye lid, me running around sorting out lighting and getting the shot done within 5 minutes start to finish. His friend completely dazed by what was happening, she looked on. This was the final image out of 15 images taken, permission given by my son to use online - the most important element of this image consent.
Needless to say he does see much of her anymore, I feel guilty because I probably scared her off. I remember this period of my life, makeup applied by a female, a passive teenager, identity, angst, discovery and vulnerability, maybe a path that I am still walking, ever changing discovery and vulnerability of what it is to be man, to be me. Over the course of the last few months, things have just happened, just presented themselves to the point I am beginning to notice these chance moments and beginning to act on them.
Assignment two and three are visually almost complete, but I need to reflect, exploring and write up the work. Both of the assignments occurred like a bolt of lightening and happened so quick I am concerned by the time taken which is no time at all. I need to accept that some work will just happen. For example I was cleaning my tip of a shed out at the weekend and I came across some old negatives which are complete destroyed. Since the Suitcase I requested some old family photos from my Dad which I may start to spread this across my whole family. Playing I decided put the two together. It took a minute or two it came from nowhere. It is something to think about for the future. |